I'm So Done

School will be the death of me. Especially English. I don't really want to talk about school, so I'm just going to summarize all I need to say about it. 1. Big essay-related stuff coming up in English; I still need a firm topic. 2. Presented our group projects in CPD on Friday; it went well. 3. Lots of psychology study guides. 4. Got a take-home quiz in math. Dr. K said we could leave or stay and work on it. I stayed. Finished it. Turned it in. I think I did really good.

For some reason, today doesn't  feel real. I don't mean, "Today's so awesome it can't be true!" I just feel foggy and tired. I was really excited for Halloween all this month, and now I just don't care anymore. It's just a day. Children will be trick or treating, others will be passing out candy or partying or something. I will sit at home on the computer and won't be able to do anything fun because of stupid little kids being outside. September was an incredibly fast month. This month is just slow and will not end. I can't wait for this semester to just be over with... but at the same time, I don't want it to. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT enjoying it in the least. I don't want it to go by faster simply because of my stupid final English research paper. It's going to be like writing the senior paper all over again, except this time, the topic won't even be interesting to me. 

I'm so tired. I'm so done. I wish quitting school was a logical option. I wish I could spend my life doing the things I like to do, and not slaving away at school and, eventually, work. I wish I could spend any money I get on things I want to have, and not bills and taxes and over stupid crap. I don't care if everyone else has accepted that that's the way things are. Am I them? No. So don't try and drill that into the damn brain! I'm allowed to think what I want and have my own opinions. Other people judge too much. And you know what? It's time for me to start getting defensive.

I am so done with people. I hate all of them. They suck. They're either rude, part of a bad crowd, uninteresting, stupid, or someone I personally despise. And then, of course, there are some friends, a few people drifting away, and people that I used to know. If they aren't one of the latter three, I hate them.  I'm just so DONE with what people want me to do! Some people want me to be perfect. Others want me to pick up all their damn slack. Join a club! Meet people! Be outgoing! Be friendly! Go outside more! Do stuff that makes you incredibly uncomfortable and stresses you out and makes you upset and tired! Why do people not understand? Everyone needs to STOP telling me what they think I should do! They do NOT know what's best for me.

I'm not saying they can't give me advice. I really do like advice. I consider it. I'm just so fed up with people judging me based on how they live. Oh, so you like to go hang out with people? Does that mean I should to? Give it a break. People don't usually say these things to me directly. But I know it's what they're thinking. I know the meaning behind what people say to me; I'm not stupid. 

I don't even know why I'm complaining. There's no person or event in particular that's giving me trouble. I'm just very upset lately.