^I suffer from both 98% of the time.
Ah, another day with a bad start... More stressing about tomorrow. Driving there, trying not to forget anything, getting to places on time, the parking lot, what to do during my 3 hour long break, remembering to pack my lunch, hoping no one talks to me... the list goes on.
I really don't want to gooo. It'll be so much work and I just don't want to put any effort in. But I know I have to if I ever want enough money to survive when I pick a career. Oh, right, but I don't even know what career I'm picking. I could wind up in something as crappy as education and not even make enough money to survive when I have to pay for bills and things when I finally move out on my own.
Basically, I hate the adult world. It's stupid. And I hate being forced into stupid things. I don't even know my insurance information or my own SSN. And I'm an adult? What? True, I only turned 18 end of last month (almost a month ago), but that doesn't matter. My age is a not-so-big 1-8 now, which means that everyone in the adult world expects me to know what I'm doing and be an adult. And, like I've said, I'm totally dependent and don't know how to do anything without there being someone there to hold my hand. It's not like I can just "learn" how. Um, what? Am I just supposed to magically know? No, I need someone to walk me through it and tell me what to do. I'm going to need mom's help setting up a doctor's appointment to look into my anxiety issues. I mean, I can go to the orthodontist on my own now and schedule my next appointment while I'm there... I've done that twice now. that's good enough, right?
On a brighter note, I decided to escape some of my stress today. I drove (a serious shocker) to my mom's house... At first I wanted her to pick me up, but she asked if I could drive there. I only agreed that it was fine because I knew where her house was. Actually, half of the route to get there is the same one I take to get to GCC. That, on top of multiple trips there where I had to drive while follower either her or grandma back when I was helping them move into the place, is the only reason I was okay driving there alone in my truck.
We watched some television and mom found a doctor we can call tomorrow to get an appointment scheduled for me. Let me tell you, I have no freakin' clue how calling doctors and stuff works. I still go to a child's dentist and a pediatrician. I've never made my own appointment (other than the orthodontist as of recent) in my life. After a few hours at my mom's house, I came home. No idea what I'm going to do now, really. Wait for tomorrow to happen so I can get it over with, I suppose.
Pray that no one talks to me. I don't want to deal with that stress on top of what's already built up.
4 comments:
I know right. I'm nervous too and now that I'm getting a loan (IN MY NAME!!!) I don't want to be an adult. Sure you can do more, but NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo.....I'm gonna miss you Rebecca...
I'm gonna miss you and everyone else so much. ;_; I don't really talk about it much, but I have an overwhelming fear that all of my friends that are moving away are going to find new, better friends and replace me. It's happened a lot to me when I was younger, where I had friends, they moved, contact stopped... I just really hope that doesn't happen now.
Which it probably will... every adult you ask, they say, "Oh, you just lose contact after high school you know?" and "People come in and out of your life, it happens." I refuse to accept that...
Bitch please, we still have plans for you to live with me apartment years from now XD!
You're too awesome and those who left are missing out!
I lost all my friends when I changed schools in 7th grade(and I had known them since I was in Kindergarden)and I never want that to happen again. Overall, you are stuck with me...forever~~~~~
Good! I like it that way.
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